In the dark. Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart. You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it. You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes. You’re paralyzed.
You’re paralyzed because “Chuck of the Corn” just leapt out of at you, scaring you witless, provoking you to huck a hard piece of dried out corn at him. Yep, you guessed it, just a typical romantic date night for us at A Maze In Corn. 🌹💋
Before last Saturday I had yet to get lost in a corn maze. Originally, we were going to hit the maze in the afternoon and then go for a nice dinner. But after texting with a friend, who pretty much said “LAME” when I mentioned a midday jaunt, we decided to do the dinner graze first, then the maze of maize. Oh, and apparently so did the rest of the city. When we arrived it was totally INSANE with people and cars. It was one of those moments where you’re all like “oh no, this is too crowded, it’s prob not going to be fun.” We were wrong.
After a short wait in the entrance line, we were in and just walking anywhere, everywhere. Besides the maze, we had zero clue on what you could do at this place at night. We did a short walk to the petting zoo area (at least I think that’s what it was), which, by the way, looks extremely frightening under nightfall.
Sorry, A Maze In Corn, I don’t mean to be mean, but we were like “what is this slaughterhouse looking nightmare?” The centrepiece to this area was a little red barn, which consistently had a line of people waiting to get in.
That barn reminded me of an 80s slasher movie. Friday the 13th Part III to be exact.🔪 You know, the one where Jason puts his goalie mask on for the first time. *shudders* Sorry, I digress.
My mind told me there were sacrifices going on in that barn. In actuality, I think there were kittens to pet and pigs to look at, but still. Hella creepy. Even the cow seemed a little off. It was laying on the ground with a fat goat. I think they were kissing each other. C’mon! That ain’t right. Paganism! 🐐
After about five minutes, tops, on the set of American Horror Story: Petting Zoo, we were off to the nearest corn maze entrance. Now, this was our jam. We started off jauntily meandering the paths — “la-la-la, this is fun” — then all of the sudden, Chuck of the Corn started pushing me through, in what I can best describe as, “kinda paths.” Paths that are pretty much NOT paths. After about a half hour wandering through the maze on paths and kinda paths, Chuck of the Corn felt like he needed to kick up the scares a notch. So he started hiding in the corn waiting for unsuspecting teenagers as I kept back and tried to find another group of friends to adopt me.
Boy did he scare the crap out of some people. One girl shrieked so loud I thought for sure she was going to have a panic attack. Another kid was so frightened he chucked a piece of corn at Chuck’s head. 😱 🌽 Served him right. Hillary and I approve that action! And then there was this group of six kids who walked by me, two with their heads down looking at their phones, while Chuck of the Corn patiently waited around the corner. Chuck also had this little glow stick on him. It kind of looked like a red glowing eye from a distance. As the kids passed by me, I could hear one of them silently stutter, “Uuh, what is that red thing, guys? That’s super creepy.” Before you could shout “This is inappropriate adult behaviour!” out jumped my boyfriend screaming. The kids lost their minds. Two fell to the ground, the others ran away shrieking. I uttered “Enough.” 😡 (I more than uttered it.)
And that was our night at the corn maze. Oh, and we also came across some fire 🔥 magic show put on by chillingly odd folk while dozens upon dozens of people watched. We didn’t stay long enough to find out what that freak show was. Happy Halloween, all! 🎃🎃🎃